Self sabotage is choosing to do something that is contradictory to your health, wellness or life goals—this can happen consciously or unconsciously. Examples are:
- Why can’t I leave this person when they hurt me, why can’t I seem to get to the gym to work out, I want to eat healthy but I always seem to go for the chips, why do I spend money I don’t have on makeup, nails and clothes
Self Sabotage is caused by deeply held beliefs about ourselves that we have developed since we were born from feedback from the world around us and the people in it. That comment from your 3rd grade teacher, or the kid on the playground, or your aunt that made an impact to your sense of identity
- Why are you so lazy/fat/annoying, you won’t ever be as fast as the other kids, you better hope you land a rich husband because brains just aren’t your thing and so on
What are some examples of fundamentally core beliefs that are negative and can impact my life’s choices? Common ones are “I am not good enough,” “I am not worthy of being taken care of,” “I am not a good person,” “I cannot do things on my own.”
These core beliefs influence how you feel about yourself and then impact how you spend your time, your hobbies, the risks you take in life, how you spend your money and most importantly, how you take care of your body, soul and mind.
Why do I continue to perpetuate behaviors based on these false and damaging beliefs? Largely unawareness. Consider yourself aware now friends! But there are stronger forces at play behind the scenes in your brain that can be hard to overcome. Your behavior reinforces your core beliefs so if you sabotage yourself from succeeding, your brain says “see, I told you, it’s true you’re really not good/smart/fast enough”
Because it can be scarier to challenge the belief believe it or not! Changing our beliefs can turn our psychological world upside down! For example, if you succeeded then the story you tell yourself about not being good enough to be successful would be untrue. And HOLY CRAP what does that mean now?! It means you are not fat, lazy, unworthy and so on and you can expect more from yourself. That’s intimidating stuff friends!
If you DID make time in your schedule and you DID exercise consistently and you DID make healthy choices that were good for you because you loved yourself that much what would that mean in your life??????
We can change self-sabotaging behaviors through awareness of what core beliefs you have that cause you to sabotage yourself and the courage to take a step in a different direction.
Having a partner to help you through the process when your instinct is to run back to what you know, such as a trusted friend, therapist, trainer or coach can make the difference over the bumps in the road on your way to an amazing life!